Getting Back In The Swing . . .

I faded.

I disappeared from the whole blogger community. I used to post twice a week, every week, religiously. I loved it. And not only did I fade from you wonderful people, I faded from my own creative self, too. I've been clinging on to that creativity for a good few years now, struggling and desperate not to let go - but then not doing much to help myself rescue it either.

I've suffered a whole identity crisis in the meantime, too. I've always been writing, as a little kid, all through my teen years and up into my adult life. It's the one thing I've always wanted to do, and the one thing that has always been a constant for me, and after publishing a few works online as well and my inclusions in anthologies, as well as personal projects that I've been working on, I was proud to call myself an actual writer. But then I wasn't writing. And if I wasn't writing, who was I? This left me confused and added to the struggles. In the end, I've just been meandering through life, not doing much at all to be honest.

I'm not sure why my creativity dried up. I could put it down to changes in work which have left me unsettled and therefore unable to get into it; a break which got me out of the habit of writing regularly, and a habit that I haven't been able to get back into...who knows. But one thing still remained, and that was the passion for my ideas. Even though I wasn't actually writing, the ideas still kept flowing, ideas that I love and would one day want to put down on paper - or a word document.

So, a little while back I decided to get my posterior back in gear and get back in the flow, and I've finally finished my novella, Tunnel. Can't actually remember if I mentioned it all those years ago in one of my last posts, but I originally started Tunnel (a zombie flick) for Nano way back when and then had a car accident which ruined that November flow. I still worked on it though at my own snail pace and eventually finished it. And now it's edited and polished and soon ready to go up on Amazon. I'm actually proud of myself and I will keep you all posted with that one.

Then also, out of the blue a few days back, I received a friend request on facebook from the wonderful Nick Wilford who inadvertently reminded me of the whole writer community sitting here that I had once been a part of and who offered support and inspiration (thank you), and so decided that I needed to get back here too. If you believe in fate, I think the signs are all there, finally aligning and telling me it's time to rekindle that creative spark. It may be hard and a struggle but I'm ready to give it a go...

So, deep breath and fingers crossed. Let's get this show back on the road...

We All Need Confidence When It Comes To Writing...

Confidence.

What is it?

When it comes to writing, confidence (amongst numerous other things) is feeling happy with what you're producing.  It's the knowing that your story works, that it flows, that your characters are real.  Yeah, you still may need to edit a few things, but you're confident you can do this, you're confident where these changes need to be, and that your changes will work.

You know what you're doing and you're happy.

But take a wee hiatus from writing and things can change.

I read a blog post a little while back and they mentioned that the longer you leave writing the more you lose your confidence.  I've never considered this before, but having just taken a good few months off writing my WIP, I've found this to be true.  I've gone back to it with mixed feelings.  My characters are seeming 2 dimensional.  The story isn't as fantastic as it used to be.  Where's my enthusiasm?  Where's my love for these people?

My confidence in this piece has fallen dramatically.  Maybe it's to do with looking at it all through fresh eyes - minus the rose tinted glasses.  I'm seeing faults.  I'm seeing flaws.  I know it's a good story - one that I'm happy with, and despite losing my enthusiasm, I know I could make it work.

The trick is finding that enthusiasm again.  Which I'm working on.  I can't and refuse adamantly to a abandon it.  I'm so close to the end I can smell it, but can I bring myself to finish it?

That's the hard part.

But I will.  I will force myself on.  I will sit in front of that blank screen and write the last few chapters.  And then I will edit it and I will correct the flaws that I see.  I will make it work.  I will love it again!  It's all about having confidence in what you can do.  Every writer needs this confidence.  And it all starts by blogging about it.

First step to rebuilding that lost confidence:  Check!